15 Things I Always Wanted To Say To Customers When I Worked In Retail

Thought Catalog

10 Items or Less - Seasons 1 & 2 10 Items or Less

1. To the person that says, “Oh! It isn’t scanning! That must mean it’s free!”

Every time someone tells that joke a cashier dies. I hope you can sleep with that on your conscience.

2. To the person that says, “It is such a beautiful day outside. Such a shame you have to be in here all day!”

Well, fortunately I have people like you to remind me how sad and vitamin D deficient my life is. Thanks for doing your part.

3. To the person that insists on taking the opportunity of a captive audience to tell me how perfect and great their child is:

You think THAT’S impressive? I saw a kid make a slip n’ slide with nothing but his own urine and a tile floor. THAT is ingenuity!

4. To the person that insists I check in the back for an item:

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Random: Questions!!

I chose to answer random questions from a tumblr post, so the numbers are most likely not in order.
2. what would you name your future kids? Girl: Linden/Lennon Boy: Brady/Micah
3. do you miss anyone? My best friend!
4. what are you looking forward to? cuddling
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? yes, plenty of people
6. is it hard for you to get over someone? no way
7. what was your life like last year? ugh
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? all the time!
9. who did you last see in person? my roommate!
10. are you good at hiding your feelings? not one bit
11. are you listening to music right now? no, that 70s show
12. what is something you want right now? not to be lonely
13. how do you feel right now? I currently have a pounding headache
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? two nights ago
15. personality description I am nice, quiet and shy until I get to know you and then I am completely open, wild and crazy.
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? YES
17. opinion on insecurities. Don’t be insecure about the little things, people aren’t going to notice. You’re beautiful.
18. do you miss how things were a year ago? NO 
19. have you ever been to New York? Yesssss
20. what is your favourite song at the moment? A Little Less Sixteen Candles (I KNOW DONT JUDGE!)
23. fear(s) stink bugs, being rejected
24. height, 5’9″
25. role model my momma
26. idol(s) Mila Kunis, Julie Andrews
27. things i hate: slow restaurant service, braggy parents, stale gum, the band fun.
28. i’ll love you if… you like to cuddle, you remember small details about me, you’re not forceful
29. favourite film(s): The Spectacular Now, Tangled, Saving Mr. Banks, Friends With Benefits, The Princess Diaries, Finding Nemo
30. favourite tv show(s): Friends, That 70s Show, Boy Meets World
31. 3 random facts: I hate when a book’s binding is snapped in two, I don’t drink alcohol, I have three tiny ear piercings
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Girls
33. something you want to learn: waitressing 
34. most embarrassing moment: I’d rather not…
35. favourite subject: English/Anatomy 
37. favourite actor/actress: Julie Andrews
39. favourite sport(s): Soccer, Gymnastics, Lacrosse
40. favourite memory: lots of dance competition memories
41. relationship status: single yo
42. favourite book(s): Catcher in the Rye, The Spectacular Now, Little House on the Prairie Series
43. favourite song ever: Oh I wish I could pick just one. Definitely a song from the 90s
44. age you get mistaken for: Either people think I’m 17 or 25 there’s no in between
45. how you found out about your idol: My Nana
46. what my last text message says “haha awww”
47. turn ons: glasses, blond hair, tall, blue eyes, nice, goofy
48. turn offs: facial hair, ginormous muscles
49. where i want to be right now: right here is fine
51. star sign Aquarius
52. something i’m talented at: dance
53. 5 things that make me happy: free food, nail polish, open dance floor, good turning days, cuddling
54. something thats worrying me at the moment: nahh not too worried
56. favourite food(s) Ice cream and Panera Mac and Cheeeeese
57. favourite animal(s) hedgehogs, elephants, baby pigs, baby sheep, baby ducks, baby chicks
58. description of my best friend: perfect

20 Signs You Grew Up In A Small Country Town


Thought Catalog


1. You didn’t have Blockbuster Video or Hollywood Video to rent movies. It was either some weird name like “Silverscreen Movies” or a random store where you could rent movies and also go tanning.

2. Your teacher would accidentally call you by your older sibling’s name since she was their teacher, and probably your parent’s teacher, too.

3. Most people get excited when a big concert or sporting event was coming to their city. You and your friends were stoked that a Burger King was opening up a few miles away.

4. As far as ethnic foods went, you had a Chinese buffet, a Mexican restaurant, and a Taco Bell knockoff.

5. You didn’t have to make plans on Friday night because if there was a high school football game, you knew where everyone was going to be.

6. If you saw smoke you didn’t call the fire department because it…

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Crappy Midnight Poetry

I want to smack you straight across the mouth, but not before I kiss it.

I want to push your arms away from mine, but not before they wrap around me.

I’m not broken, but you are.

I want to fix that.

It’s a terrible idea.

I know what I’m getting myself into.

But somehow I can’t stop it, like a tornado or my taxes.

Bad timing.

Bad timing.

Bad timing.


College Life: Random

Things I’ve learned since college began:

Good skin and heavy sleep are impossible – that’s why naps and AcZone exist.

You don’t think you’ll meet people who come from absolutely horrible backgrounds, but in reality these people surround you. Don’t judge them – their battles might be tougher than yours to fight.

Forget about dressing nice for classes – it’s not gonna happen and it’s not worth it.  Save your cute outfit for a dinner with friends or a party.

Speaking of parties, they’re a lot of fun when you’re sober.  You can still act drunk; nobody can tell the difference (and nobody really cares).

Sometimes you will feel the need to cuddle with everyone around you. Just do it, they’re your friends and they probably want cuddles, too.

The cafeteria food isn’t that repulsive, just not always consistent.

Be nice to the food service workers.  They are here to cook you food all day long – not even your mother does that.

If it says it’s going to rain, pack an umbrella. And if you don’t have rain boots, GO BUY SOME!

Have both big groups of friends, a small group of friends, and one really good on-campus friend. The big group will laugh at your stories, the small group will comfort you in times of need, and that one college bff will let you tell her absolutely anything and everything that’s on your mind.

Avoid cuties in the laundry room. Especially when you are washing your bras and undies.

Seriously, get a cuddle buddy.

Remember, it’s four years of your life you will NEVER get to relive.  So stay awake for them, Sleepyhead. 😉