1. Why does every movie about plane crashes start playing in my head the minute I get on the plane?
2. The Xanax isn’t working. It’s not working. I can’t feel anything. It’s been 5 minutes what the hell.
3. For some reason, fearfully staring out the window during takeoff makes me feel like we are less likely to crash.
4. *air conditioning comes on* OH MY GOD WE’RE GOING DOWN.
5. If I clutch the armrests of my seat and look around anxiously, will people feel bad for me and try to make me feel better?
6. How does this dude next to me just fall asleep the instant he sits down in his seat?
7. If we go through a round of turbulence one more time, I’m climbing into his lap and crying.
8. That person looks mildly disgruntled. They’re probably going to hijack the plane.
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